Tag Archives: lgbt

A bit of this and that

20 Sunday Jan 2013

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Movies:

Cleanflix is on Netflix streaming now. I’ve got a draft post started with my thoughts on it. Eventually, I’ll get around to posting it. The documentary is a fascinating look at rationalization in lds culture. Go forth and watch it.

Social media:

Surely I’m not the only one who has a “friend” list on Facebook called Outer Darkness, amiright or amiright? In my case, I use the list to exclude people from seeing some posts and from posting on my wall.  I infrequently have people in this list. If you’re one of the elite, it’s because you’ve went off the deep end and I don’t want to see your comments, even innocuous ones. Anyhoo… Outer Darkness is a great expression.

Recommendation:

John of Young Stranger was interviewed for the Gay Mormon Stories Podcast. Two parts of Four are posted as of this writing. (Links: Part 1, Part 2 ) I stayed up late listening to both on Friday night and learned John is a rather exceptional fella who has had some intense experiences and encounters.  It also gave me greater insight into how devastating growing up gay in the LDS church can be.

I saw John last night at a brainstorming meeting of LDS lgbtq & allies (that’s a whole other post altogether) and gave him a big, big hug. The irony is not lost on me that an excommunicated, gay, married man is a more devout and active latter-day saint than I am.

Obligatory weather commentary:

The twin cities are in a wind chill warning for the next day. For the lucky ones who don’t know, wind chill is based on the actual temperature and the wind speed merged for a “feels like” temp.  At the moment, it is 0 degrees and the wind chill is -15. Over the next day, we’ll have wind chill temps from -35 to -45. If I did not have a dog, I wouldn’t leave my apartment.  It hasn’t been this cold since my first winter here in ’08. Dang.

Minnesotans voted NO. HELL, NO!

08 Thursday Nov 2012

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Ten months ago Minnesota’s LDS stake presidencies told us *without explicitly telling us  to vote for the marriage amendment. This week Minnesotans went to the polls in droves and said NO.

Not just no. Hell, no.

And we won! We triumphed over a hateful initiative started by our state legislature as a distraction. This stupid, stupid amendment forced millions to be spent on both sides and that sucks. But you know what else? It has laid the groundwork towards getting gay marriages recognized in Minnesota. It doesn’t end here. It just got started. So we can thank the fear-mongers for that.

I haven’t been to my LDS ward since August because I got sick of hearing jabs at the government in talks. I got tired of hearing how society is in decay and the traditional family is under attack. While I’m grateful that the church did not take the aggressive role in MN that it did in CA during prop 8, its position was clear.

I said I wouldn’t return to an LDS chapel until after the election because it hurt my heart too much. After the victories of Tuesday – Obama won, the DFL took back the majority in the MN legislature, two unnecessary state amendments didn’t pass, and a Mormon with questionable business and financial ethics lost – I’ve joked with friends that it’s tempting to go to the next fast & testimony meeting and misuse the opportunity like so many others often do and gloat. How fun would it be to say my testimony was strengthened because God answered the prayers of so many by shutting down people who seek to oppress others yet ignore their own issues, who “strain at gnats but swallow camels” ala Matthew 23:24. I’d thank members who fasted for Romney because it was God’s will that he go back to the private sector and that was a success. Then I’d do a victory dance back to my pew. Or the door. LOL Of course, I wouldn’t do any of that. But it’s fun to imagine!

Mormons at TC PRIDE Parade

17 Sunday Jun 2012

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Thanks to the efforts of John Gustav-Wrathall (who blogs at Young Stranger) Mormons will have a spot in the Twin Cities Pride Parade next Sunday, June 24th. The above pic is our banner. All Mormons – LGBT, straight, Mormon by heritage, active, inactive, whatever your connection – are welcome to walk with us.

In a state that has had far too many lgbt teen suicides due to bullying (and another one last month) this is an effort to reach out and express love for everyone.

There is an event on Facebook if you want to join us. If you want to join us and bypass the Facebook event, please email John to be kept in the loop on the details. There’s an email link on his blogger profile.

With the exception of the year I broke my foot (Doh!) I’ve walked in the PRIDE parade every year with Mpls mayor R.T. Rybak and it is SO FUN! Over 125K spectators come every year. Many churches participate along with politicians, businesses, non-profits, art cars and bikes… it’s a great time. :)

Sure, I’ll meet with you

18 Friday May 2012

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In my ward, and perhaps the whole stake, the bishopric and stake presidency meet with a handful of members the week before ward conference. I’ve never been in a ward before that does this. They try to pick people from various demographics… active, inactive, single, married, kids, no kids, convert, etc. I’ve gotten called a couple times for this; I suppose because I’m in a spinster. Can one be a spinster as a divorcee? Sure, why not. No cats in this household though. 

I got a call earlier in the week from a counselor in the bishopric. I didn’t answer because it was a TX number and I’ve gotten calls before from TX numbers and weirdly, they are collect calls from inmates at assorted MN correctional facilities.  Seriously.  I listened to the voice mail and it’s this guy in the bishopric saying hey, ward conference is coming up and could you meet with us Thursday night? I called him back and got his voice mail. I left a message saying, “Hey, didn’t answer because I thought you were someone incarcerated and yes, I can meet with you but only if we meet right at 7 at the chapel cuz I’m going out later that night.” He called back and asked if I could bail him out of jail. hehehe

So last night I met with him and a counselor from the stake presidency. We chat back and forth a bit about the ward and callings (I don’t have one presently) and then the bishopric guy says he wants to end with a message. He said he shared some things about the church with a colleague and did so because the man had asked about his weekend. He said typically he’d be vague but he thought about the the question, “Are you honest in your dealings with your fellow man?” This prompted him to share information about stake conference. He then encouraged me to share the gospel when I had opportunities.

I replied that in the interest of being honest in kind, I don’t bring up the church with friends and neighbors because the majority are lgbt or supportive of lgbt equality and if the church comes up, I’m doing damage control because of prop 8 and the amendment here. That’s the extent of my missionary work – damage control. I’m saying, “Yeah, we’re not all like that.”  He said something to the effect of it being ok to maintain friendships with people whose views are different than ours.  I said, “To be clear, my views are the same as my friends, not the church. I’m here because I’m not a single issue churchgoer but it isn’t always easy.” The conversation wrapped up quickly after that, as it was intended to after his story anyway. Oh these poor guys. Then again, maybe they choose to meet with me for fodder to liven up their next correlation meeting. ;)

I am curious how often discontent with church actions comes up lately in interviews with leadership.  Earlier that day I was talking to a friend in AZ. She’s as devout as they come and was expressing frustration with the church’s involvement with City Creek Center in SLC.

I have to have a chuckle at myself writing this. I can imagine myself reading such a post nine years ago and commenting, “The church is not Burger King. You don’t get to have it your way. It’s not about what’s popular; it’s about what’s RIGHT.”  To think that I would write that, and surely did write similar comments on blogs back then makes me roll my eyes and thank goodness for the mercy of less judgmental friends who saw religion through a more nuanced lens and tolerated my rhetoric.

Tolerate intolerance…why?

14 Monday May 2012

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Our stake was reorganized the weekend before last. I missed about 40 minutes of stake conference on Sunday but Saturday night was great, notably the talks from Craig C. Christiansen of the seventy and Brent J. Hillier of the area seventy.

The first talk given on Saturday night, however, included an attack on gay marriage cloaked in the usual “we’re the ones being attacked because our intolerance isn’t tolerated” rhetoric. That talk was given by a man who was sustained the following day as our new stake president.I like this guy. It’s always so disappointing to hear this stuff from people I respect.

The portion of his talk directed at gay marriage referred to the letter read in Minnesota wards earlier this year. He said our values are under attack and it seems that nothing less than acceptance of homosexual marriage is tolerated. He said that we should love our homosexual family and they are welcome, “… but the church will not endorse or embrace homosexual behavior or same sex marriage.”

Of course they won’t. Just like they wouldn’t support civil rights and the priesthood for blacks. Until they did. Or the ERA for women until they di- oh wait, never mind.

The church can be as exclusionary as they want. The church has a lot of senseless beliefs as religions are wont to do. Maybe they’ll evolve. Maybe they won’t. What I take issue with is pushing those senseless restrictions on others.

When I started this post I had a lengthy dissertation refuting the usual reasons people give for being against gay marriage in general and homosexuality in particular.

Then the big announcement came from Obama and the comedic pundits articulated it far better than I could.

The Colbert Report Mon – Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
Barack Obama’s Gay Blasphemy
www.colbertnation.com
Colbert Report Full Episodes Political Humor & Satire Blog Video Archive
The Daily Show with Jon Stewart Mon – Thurs 11p / 10c
Lord of the Rings
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor & Satire Blog The Daily Show on Facebook

Obama on ABC

I do support families – ALL FAMILIES – and that is why I will be voting NO next November on the constitutional amendment to ban gay marriage in Minnesota.

Minnesotans United For All Families

A follow up to The Gay Marriage post

19 Thursday Jan 2012

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A lot of traffic was sent this way because of my post about the letter read from the stake presidency. That was unexpected. I’m grateful for the words of support from people both in comments here and messages via facebook and email. Thank you.

Some told me it took courage to post. I guess I would agree if I had anything to lose but I don’t. If anyone I know from church shuns me, that’s their problem. I’ve defriended people on social media sites before who revealed their true colors (which were decidedly not rainbow friendly). They’re welcome to do the same.

I don’t have a temple recommend I’m afraid of losing. Someday I might like to go back to the temple but that’s a long ways off and a whole other post.  I don’t come from pioneer stock. There’s no Mormon family to embarrass. However, there is a bishop and a stake presidency who may indeed feel I’m “speaking ill of the Lord’s anointed” by criticizing the church’s opposition to the rights of the lgbt crowd. I believe in personal revelation and I don’t believe the prophet is infallible and I believe the church has made mistakes in the past, too. The stake president and bishop, both great guys, are well aware of where I stand on this issue. So I’m not even sure they would have a conversation with me about the post unless pushed to by someone else. If they do, well, you’ll hear about it here.

Also, I’d like to clarify something. Some sites who linked to the post said it was all wards or stakes in Minnesota who had the letter read to them. I only know about mine. I don’t know if other stakes have had similar letters issued or not. But I find it particularly sad for my stake because it includes Anoka, a school district which has had a suicide epidemic due in part to bullying of gay students. Michele Bachmann is the US congresswoman for that district.  Bachmann has been very clear in her feelings about homosexuals and gay marriage. Our stake doesn’t need to be yet another voice contributing to a hostile environment towards lgbt teens.

The Mormons have been restrained in Minnesota thus far. The Catholic diocese, on the other hand, sent out 400,000 dvds against gay marriage to Catholic Minnesotans. This was not well received, particularly in the twin cities. It’ll be interesting to see if LDS leadership is restrained the rest of the year leading up to the vote or focuses their efforts on the red parts of the state. Stay tuned.

“I have a letter to read from the stake presidency.”

16 Monday Jan 2012

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Those words rarely precede anything good in my experience. Such was the case last Sunday. Typically, edicts come down from the LDS first presidency (the head honchos in SLC). So whatever came next was going to be Minnesota related. That could only mean one thing. dun dun DUUUUN…  WE CAN’T LET THE GAYS DESTROY THE FAMILY!

I could feel my blood pressure rising as I braced myself for whatever rhetoric was about to be unleashed. The gist of the letter was an explanation of the ballot initiative next November – if it passes, the state constitution would amend article XIII to read, “Only a union of one man and one woman shall be valid or recognized as a marriage in Minnesota.” The letter did not come out and say which way to vote but the underlying message was clear. We were advised to remember the family is a fundamental unit of society and to read the Proclamation on the Family and prayerfully consider how to get involved. It concluded with a reminder that church buildings and directories are not to be used for political purposes – with this caveat – unless otherwise directed.

Vote NoThis initiative did not get on the ballot with a petition drive. It was put on by our state legislature. One of the  drivers behind it was former GOP Senate Majority leader Amy Koch  who stepped down from said post after it came to light that the married senator was having an “inappropriate relationship” with a male staffer. Our legislators who were so keen to pre-emptively attack other families would do well to focus on their own.

I’ve been through this before. I lived in Nebraska when a petition drive was held there to get DOMA on the ballot. At church we were not even asked if we wanted to gather signatures. We were handed packets (which I did not take) and several hours of our usual meetings were taken up with our bishop and stake president rallying the troops, so to speak – even sending people out on a Sunday gather signatures at the College World Series. I didn’t speak out against it. I just murmured with my like-minded friends about our disgust over the church getting involved. Hell, damn near running the whole thing. And happy, oh so happy, to join forces with evangelicals who agree with Mormons on nothing other than the so-called moral decline of society.

When Prop 8 was going on in CA, I told a friend on Facebook that it hurt me to see status updates about how she was going out and gathering signatures. I asked what was her reasoning? She recited the talking points she’d been given at church – churches would be forced to marry gays, it was about religious freedom, blah blah blah. I pointed out that the Catholic church refused to marry my divorced mother. I pointed out that the LDS church already restricts who can get married in the temple. I asked her about the religious freedom of my lgbt friends who attend churches that would happily marry them. Where was their religious freedom? I pointed out that atheists get married all the time. Marriage isn’t reserved for the religious. It’s a legal arrangement. She conceded she hadn’t thought about these things. Whether Prop 8 passed or not, there would still be gay and lesbian families. If it was really about preserving families, why send a message to the children of these families that their parents are “less than”? I’m sure she went on to vote for it but I hope I planted a seed for her to think about the morality of attacking someone else’s family.

I knew this issue would eventually come to Minnesota. My hope was that it would be the other way around, not something to fight against but to fight for. Before I rejoined the church I met with the bishop and the stake president. I said I knew this issue would eventually come up in MN and when it did, I wouldn’t be picketing outside the temple but I would be actively involved in supporting the rights of my gay and lesbian friends. It concerns me that it is being brought up in January when the vote is in November. If the church is about to launch an anti-family campaign (and that’s exactly what it is) then I’ll happily take myself up to the progressive and inclusive Hennepin Ave UMC on Sundays. My relationship with the LDS church is a complicated and nuanced one. But one thing I’ll never do is support something based on “God said so.”

Do not believe in anything simply because you have heard it. Do not believe in anything simply because it is spoken and rumored by many. Do not believe in anything simply because it is found written in your religious books. Do not believe in anything merely on the authority of your teachers and elders. Do not believe in traditions because they have been handed down for many generations. But after observation and analysis, when you find that anything agrees with reason and is conducive to the good and benefit of one and all, then accept it and live up to it. ~Buddha

The LDS church has an army of volunteers at its beck and call. Imagine the good it could do if rallied for health care for all or lowering education costs or clean air initiatives. We truly set the bar low when such power is used merely to oppress others. That’s seriously lazy and decidedly un-Christian behavior.

Links of note:
Minnesotans United for all Families
Mormons for Marriage