Monthly Archives: January 2012

Religion, mythology

29 Sunday Jan 2012

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Missed church the last two weeks due to freezing rain last week and had to work today. Surely all the BYUtv I watch on my iPad2 makes up for it, right? Right. ;) Spotted this article online today and found it worth sharing…

From the Duluth News Tribune: Why worry over a Mormon President?

Excerpt 1:

“But Christians who disparage Mormon origins forget their own sacred tales are filled with visions and miracles, along with Joseph Smith-like prophets and saints raising people from the dead. Or, perhaps they do remember but feel theirs are more acceptable since they’re safely dormant in the ancient past.

Also like the Mormons, Christians’ stories aren’t original and often are based on mythology, starting with Jesus being conceived as the “word” of God. That’s patterned after Athena being conceived as a “thought” of Zeus that popped out of his skull.”

Back when I tried to defend Mormonism to evangelicals, it was rather easy because any argument they tossed out could effectively be used against Christianity in general.

Excerpt 2:

“But it’s clear why politicians would rather not talk about religion, as it might befuddle their image as worldly and pragmatic leaders. It’s good politics in 2012 to be viewed as religious; but it would be political suicide to try to defend beliefs that defy science or reality.

As I mark my ballot, I hope President Obama, Romney and any other surviving candidate embrace the values of his or her respective religions while being worldly enough to view articles of their faith more symbolically than literally. Better yet, I would love for each to come out and say so.”

Amen.

ADVENTures

26 Thursday Jan 2012

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So long, 2011

I took my Advent calendar down today. Yes, today, January 26th. This was the first time in several years that I had one. I went to church with my parents on the first Sunday of Advent. I was hoping for Christmas hymns. DENIED. There was an instrumental rendition of “Oh come, oh come, Immanuel” and that was it. All was not lost though cuz my mom offered to buy me an Advent calendar in the church book store. Sweet!

In the middle of December I moved so I missed the fun of opening those days singularly. Those were a hurried affair just days before Christmas. This is why I decided to keep it posted for another month. The plan was to re-read each day’s verse each morning through the 25th of January. Well, that didn’t happen for a couple reasons. First off, the first time through, several verses in this calendar were just not… I’m not sure how to explain it. They were not ones that I would choose. At least it was pretty to look at. Second, I’m still not fully settled in my new place. That’s rather sad given how little I have.

When I took it down today I wondered about the history of these calendars. A lot of people don’t know what they are. I turned to my dear friend Wikipedia wherein I found the answer. It started with German Lutherans, of which I am a descendant. I think I’ll make my own calendar for next December.

Temple talk: the Mormon dog whistle

25 Wednesday Jan 2012

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There’s a show on BYUtv called Sacred Stone:Temple on the Mississippi. I watched it on my iPad (aka Preeccciiioousss) a few times at bedtime. Why a few times? Because I fell asleep each time. It wasn’t because the content was dull. This is just what I do at bedtime. I either listen to audiobooks or podcasts or watch something on the iPad.

I was roused from my semi-asleep state during one viewing because I swear one of the narrators (though not the main one) is the same guy who narrates the endowment at the LDS temple. I know that voice. I haven’t heard it in nearly 7 years but it’s seared into my memory.

At the St Louis temple back in the day

I used to be so paranoid about saying anything about the temple. Everyone was so tight-lipped about it before I went. During a discussion about creation  and evolution with an LDS friend I made a reference to “matter unorganized” and he chastised me for using verbiage from the temple. I realize now that people overreact about what can be discussed outside the temple. Even so, when I hear any reference that could be from the temple, my ears perk up. It’s like a dog whistle for Mormons.

When I listened to the “The Hunger Games” on audiobook there’s a point where Katniss said, “I have sufficient for my needs,” and I did a double take. There was something else in that book about anointing that sent me to the Interwebs to see if author Suzanne Collins had an LDS connection. She doesn’t; at least none that I could find. However, I did find other people had posed the same question. See? Dog whistle.

Back in the mid 90s dialup days, I had just joined the church and looked for stuff about it online – on Yahoo or maybe Lycos. Apparently Lycos is still around. Wow. Anyway, the church didn’t have a site back then. What you found was a whole lot of anti stuff and Jeff Lindsay. I stumbled onto the temple ordinances on an anti site. It make no sense whatsoever, knowing nothing, NOTHING about the temple except that people got married there. At the time I was afraid to tell anyone what I’d read. It would have helped if this site (not anti) had been around back then.  The temple prep class told me little but did reinforce the “sacred not secret” thing without saying what was sacred.

I liked the temple. I really do miss it. I miss the ritual of it. And this leads me to my discussion with the bishop about the temple scene in Big Love but I’ll devote a separate post to that.

Set apart

21 Saturday Jan 2012

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Are you a Netflix junkie? I am. My particular niche is documentaries. One I recently watched was “A Life Apart: Hasidism in America.” It’s narrated by Leonard Nimoy and Sarah Jessica Parker. I did my best to not imagine I was hearing Carrie Bradshaw. hahaha Watch the trailer…

The documentary illustrates a religion which encompasses every aspect of life.  The rituals are unique. The families are tight knit. They are joyful. Hasidism is hardcore. Its foundation is connecting with God every day through every action. Like any religion which seeks to set itself apart from others it breeds some contempt – both contempt from and for the outside world.

One interviewee is Pearl Gluck. She knew at 15 that she would need to leave the community eventually. She was a questioner. She wanted to know what it was like to walk down the street idly. Was it not spiritual? What was spirituality? Were outsiders really corrupt? Her questions were disallowed in that environment. She was brought up to believe the Hasidim were elite. Towards the end of the documentary she talks of her visits back to the community. She has a relationship with her family and likes visiting but she can’t bring her whole self back; it doesn’t fit. That’s why she needed to leave in the first place. She then says something that sounds a lot like what some Mormons feel after stepping away from the orthodoxy.

“What I realize I’m missing is … the sense of enlightenment. The sense of definitive, “I know what I’m doing spiritually and I’m correct.” I don’t know if I need to look for that elsewhere. I don’t know if I need to look for that, period. But I… it is something that I see in people… the way that they walk, the way that they talk, the way that they have this community. And I do miss that. I miss that sense of community. I miss that security that people have in each other.” – Pearl Gluck

When I originally joined the LDS  church it was the rigid aspects that appealed to me. It seemed very formulaic. Just do A + B and you’ll get C. I wanted that certainty of those who stood up and said, “I know this church is true.” For many years I did have that but I didn’t realize I didn’t have it because the church is true; I had it because I invested myself in believing it. There is comfort in that feeling. It may be a false sense of security but on some level it does feel secure.

When orthodox Mormons complain about those who “leave the church but can’t leave it alone” they are not acknowledging that it isn’t just a church. It is an entire culture. You can’t leave that fully nor should anyone be expected to. It would be like telling a fish he had to get out of the water just because he preferred a different area of the aquarium. Or something. You know we Mormons love our analogies even when they don’t entirely fit. ;)

Now the Mormon community and culture is nowhere near the same level of exclusivity as the Hasidim. But there are parallels, both good and bad. Both groups seek to be closer to their vision of God but in the process there is a human tendency toward arrogance. Both place strong emphasis on family but patriarchy dominates both homes and leadership. Both also have beautiful rituals which hold a level of peace and comfort.

When I left the church, like Gluck, I did miss that certainty. I missed the community. But during my time away I came to understand that doubt is ok. Uncertainty is ok. Mother Teresa’s doubt lasted for decades and may have never been resolved. (Mother Teresa’s Crisis of Faith – Time, 2007) I doubt I will come to that level of faith that I once had because I cannot imagine investing myself again in that same manner. I am back on my own terms.

Anyway, if you have Netflix streaming, check out A Life Apart. It’s a fascinating flick.

A follow up to The Gay Marriage post

19 Thursday Jan 2012

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A lot of traffic was sent this way because of my post about the letter read from the stake presidency. That was unexpected. I’m grateful for the words of support from people both in comments here and messages via facebook and email. Thank you.

Some told me it took courage to post. I guess I would agree if I had anything to lose but I don’t. If anyone I know from church shuns me, that’s their problem. I’ve defriended people on social media sites before who revealed their true colors (which were decidedly not rainbow friendly). They’re welcome to do the same.

I don’t have a temple recommend I’m afraid of losing. Someday I might like to go back to the temple but that’s a long ways off and a whole other post.  I don’t come from pioneer stock. There’s no Mormon family to embarrass. However, there is a bishop and a stake presidency who may indeed feel I’m “speaking ill of the Lord’s anointed” by criticizing the church’s opposition to the rights of the lgbt crowd. I believe in personal revelation and I don’t believe the prophet is infallible and I believe the church has made mistakes in the past, too. The stake president and bishop, both great guys, are well aware of where I stand on this issue. So I’m not even sure they would have a conversation with me about the post unless pushed to by someone else. If they do, well, you’ll hear about it here.

Also, I’d like to clarify something. Some sites who linked to the post said it was all wards or stakes in Minnesota who had the letter read to them. I only know about mine. I don’t know if other stakes have had similar letters issued or not. But I find it particularly sad for my stake because it includes Anoka, a school district which has had a suicide epidemic due in part to bullying of gay students. Michele Bachmann is the US congresswoman for that district.  Bachmann has been very clear in her feelings about homosexuals and gay marriage. Our stake doesn’t need to be yet another voice contributing to a hostile environment towards lgbt teens.

The Mormons have been restrained in Minnesota thus far. The Catholic diocese, on the other hand, sent out 400,000 dvds against gay marriage to Catholic Minnesotans. This was not well received, particularly in the twin cities. It’ll be interesting to see if LDS leadership is restrained the rest of the year leading up to the vote or focuses their efforts on the red parts of the state. Stay tuned.

Posts in the hopper

17 Tuesday Jan 2012

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You came for the Minnesota Mormons vs The Gays post. Stay tuned for these upcoming  topics…

  • Discussing the value of Big Love’s temple scene with the bishop. No, really.
  • Unity church, love the New Thought Philosophies, hate the music
  • McConkie’s “Mormon Doctrine” – Did that dude seriously say all teens should read it?
  • Defining Mormonism for oneself
  • A Life Apart: Hasidism in America – a documentary on Netflix that bears interesting similarities culture-wise to Mormonism.

Cry me a river

17 Tuesday Jan 2012

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I bore my extremely limited and unconventional testimony on New Year’s Day. I was emotional as hell as is usually the case. I can’t be compelled to do it otherwise. This church turned me into a bawler. I used to try and stop it when I could feel the waterworks coming on. I don’t anymore. I decided a long time ago to allow myself to experience my emotions so I could appreciate the positive experiences and try to understand the rest.

What prompts these tears? Yeah, there’s talks and hymns that trigger emotions. But that wasn’t the case on New Year’s Day. I keep a notebook in my scripture bag and I before the meeting that day, I flipped through it to a January Sunday 2 years ago.

On that day I had interrupted my note taking to make a list of pros and cons for rejoining the church. I’d left of my own accord 4 years prior. It was with a cautious heart that I began visiting again. There were cons, so many cons, to rejoining. Nonetheless I could not deny the moments in my life where the church was a positive influence. I have had very spiritual moments in church and in the temple that I could never rationally explain to anyone. They were intensely personal.

Nor could I explain to anyone the moment it struck me like a lightning bolt that the only thing sustaining the LDS church – or any church – was the collective belief in it. That is the sole power within any church. I had to leave so I could figure out what it meant to have faith and what was worth my investment of faith.

On that Sunday 2 years ago I felt I should rejoin.  I made the decision knowing I was at odds with the church on many doctrinal points. I made it knowing I no longer had a traditional testimony. I said all of this to the bishop and the stake president. They consented so I have to believe there is a place for me within the church.

I think it was reading those notes… my list of pros and many, many cons… that prompted my tears on New Year’s Day. Tears of frustration over the dogma I’m at odds with, tears of gratitude for the positive aspects, tears of relief for my own journey which has altered my life in amazing ways. And so it goes. I cry. And I’m fine with that.

“I have a letter to read from the stake presidency.”

16 Monday Jan 2012

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Those words rarely precede anything good in my experience. Such was the case last Sunday. Typically, edicts come down from the LDS first presidency (the head honchos in SLC). So whatever came next was going to be Minnesota related. That could only mean one thing. dun dun DUUUUN…  WE CAN’T LET THE GAYS DESTROY THE FAMILY!

I could feel my blood pressure rising as I braced myself for whatever rhetoric was about to be unleashed. The gist of the letter was an explanation of the ballot initiative next November – if it passes, the state constitution would amend article XIII to read, “Only a union of one man and one woman shall be valid or recognized as a marriage in Minnesota.” The letter did not come out and say which way to vote but the underlying message was clear. We were advised to remember the family is a fundamental unit of society and to read the Proclamation on the Family and prayerfully consider how to get involved. It concluded with a reminder that church buildings and directories are not to be used for political purposes – with this caveat – unless otherwise directed.

Vote NoThis initiative did not get on the ballot with a petition drive. It was put on by our state legislature. One of the  drivers behind it was former GOP Senate Majority leader Amy Koch  who stepped down from said post after it came to light that the married senator was having an “inappropriate relationship” with a male staffer. Our legislators who were so keen to pre-emptively attack other families would do well to focus on their own.

I’ve been through this before. I lived in Nebraska when a petition drive was held there to get DOMA on the ballot. At church we were not even asked if we wanted to gather signatures. We were handed packets (which I did not take) and several hours of our usual meetings were taken up with our bishop and stake president rallying the troops, so to speak – even sending people out on a Sunday gather signatures at the College World Series. I didn’t speak out against it. I just murmured with my like-minded friends about our disgust over the church getting involved. Hell, damn near running the whole thing. And happy, oh so happy, to join forces with evangelicals who agree with Mormons on nothing other than the so-called moral decline of society.

When Prop 8 was going on in CA, I told a friend on Facebook that it hurt me to see status updates about how she was going out and gathering signatures. I asked what was her reasoning? She recited the talking points she’d been given at church – churches would be forced to marry gays, it was about religious freedom, blah blah blah. I pointed out that the Catholic church refused to marry my divorced mother. I pointed out that the LDS church already restricts who can get married in the temple. I asked her about the religious freedom of my lgbt friends who attend churches that would happily marry them. Where was their religious freedom? I pointed out that atheists get married all the time. Marriage isn’t reserved for the religious. It’s a legal arrangement. She conceded she hadn’t thought about these things. Whether Prop 8 passed or not, there would still be gay and lesbian families. If it was really about preserving families, why send a message to the children of these families that their parents are “less than”? I’m sure she went on to vote for it but I hope I planted a seed for her to think about the morality of attacking someone else’s family.

I knew this issue would eventually come to Minnesota. My hope was that it would be the other way around, not something to fight against but to fight for. Before I rejoined the church I met with the bishop and the stake president. I said I knew this issue would eventually come up in MN and when it did, I wouldn’t be picketing outside the temple but I would be actively involved in supporting the rights of my gay and lesbian friends. It concerns me that it is being brought up in January when the vote is in November. If the church is about to launch an anti-family campaign (and that’s exactly what it is) then I’ll happily take myself up to the progressive and inclusive Hennepin Ave UMC on Sundays. My relationship with the LDS church is a complicated and nuanced one. But one thing I’ll never do is support something based on “God said so.”

Do not believe in anything simply because you have heard it. Do not believe in anything simply because it is spoken and rumored by many. Do not believe in anything simply because it is found written in your religious books. Do not believe in anything merely on the authority of your teachers and elders. Do not believe in traditions because they have been handed down for many generations. But after observation and analysis, when you find that anything agrees with reason and is conducive to the good and benefit of one and all, then accept it and live up to it. ~Buddha

The LDS church has an army of volunteers at its beck and call. Imagine the good it could do if rallied for health care for all or lowering education costs or clean air initiatives. We truly set the bar low when such power is used merely to oppress others. That’s seriously lazy and decidedly un-Christian behavior.

Links of note:
Minnesotans United for all Families
Mormons for Marriage

Through all generations of time

11 Wednesday Jan 2012

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I’ve been working on family history lately, not for temple purposes, just because I’m the de facto family historian. Let me first put a plug in for the Ancestry.com iPad app. That thing is great. It makes it super easy to take your trees uploaded to their site and quickly go through the hints (marked by leaves in the tree) and attach sources as well as new people. Between that app and the Netflix one, my iPad was worth every penny. I’ll happily put a plug in here for the annual Ancestry.com membership, too. I subscribe to the US databases and it’s been hugely helpful. This ends the product promotion portion of this post. (Ah, alliterative adoration!)

Genealogy can be an interesting hobby and, as the “Who Do You Think You Are” shows attest, learning what your ancestors went through can give you personal insight. But what about when you’ve dropped your family connection with someone and don’t want to be associated with them?

The only public records on Ancestry.com for me presently say I resided in Arkansas in 1994 and got married in Nevada in 2001. I was in Arkansas for 3 weeks. I don’t consider that “residing” there. I got divorced after 5 years but whatever directory that legal fact is in isn’t listed anywhere online yet.  On my personal trees, I do not list my marriage. I had no children with him.

I was contacted by a distant cousin once. She wrote to say she got divorced and wanted to make sure I removed her husband from any records I had and changed the surnames of her children who had since been adopted by her new husband. I don’t know the circumstances but I can guess they weren’t pleasant. My mother has been married 3 times. Her 3rd husband adopted me. She would never, ever want to be tied to the first 2 in anyone’s tree but surely she is somewhere… just as I am certainly tied to my birth father and to my ex-husband, both of whom I’d rather forget.

You can ask people to remove relationships from their personal trees but public records are out there forever. Reminders of exes can be thrown out, memories do fade, but in the genealogical world you will be reminded of those you’d rather forget. Gotta learn to accept that and detach.

Then there’s the temple. What of all that proxy work sealing those who’d frankly rather not be connected for eternity to their one-time spouse? The assumption is like any ordinance work it is up to the deceased whether they accept the proxy work or not.

But what if it’s not proxy work? I was sealed to my ex. I have serious doubts in an afterlife of populating worlds without end but on the remote chance it’s true, I certainly wouldn’t want to yoked to him. I’d rather in Brigham Young’s harem.

I debate from time to time if I should push to get my sealing annulled. I’ve been told it’s nearly impossible if you’re not getting remarried. I think I could make a fairly strong case though, given that my ex is excommunicated and a convicted felon. Any thought of an afterlife aside, I think perhaps I should get it annulled because it’s one of the few things I do have control over, record-wise.

But then you know someone would seal us by proxy a hundred years from now anyway.

Religious v. societal morals

06 Friday Jan 2012

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Graduating BYU-Idaho students got a lesson from Elder Quentin Cook with some interesting notions on morality. Sadly, these are notions are popular with many stripes of Christians these days.

“Our challenge is to help people without religious faith understand that the protection of moral principles grounded in religion is a great benefit to society and that religious devotion is critical to public virtue,” Elder Cook said.

I’d say the challenge is to help people with religious faith understand that “good morals” are what most people (religious or not) have because it benefits themselves and society as a whole and “bad morals” are ones that are oppressive, have no redeeming value for society, and exist only because someone claimed their god said so.

“One of the reasons the attack on the moral and religious principles has been so successful is the reluctance of people of faith to express their views.” – Elder Cook

I’d be reluctant too if I had to express views that are rooted in “I don’t know why this is so. It doesn’t make sense but God said so.”

But if they really want people to express their moral faith, here’s a thought: I think it’s immoral that health care for families (even with insurance) costs hundreds of dollars per month. I’ve never heard a rallying cry from SLC for members to get out and petition for equal health care access for all.  Maybe if we focused on the morality of love and care for everyone instead of religiously defined sexual mores, people of faith might be respected more.